BLOG RECAP

A Summary of my Journey to Poland and our Experiences with the Ukrainian People

How can you help?

House for Single Mothers from Ukraine: Frank and I were hopeful we could find a charitable cause to bring back to the USA. Something that we could vet and experience so that we knew where donations were going and that they were directly benefiting the Ukrainian refugees. The image that drove me to Poland was that of mothers and children fleeing a war and leaving their husband, fathers, and brothers behind. How could we help them? In the Blog below there are several posts related to the “House of Moms” (as we call it) and the great work they do for the refugee women and children. 

In summary, the House of Moms helps women fleeing war to start a new life. At present, there are 3 Houses for Moms and with an increase in donations the # of houses and families helped will continue to grow. Through your generous donations Frank and I have already raised enough money to fund 5 months of a house and we intend to do more; our goal is to have a USA sponsored house (or houses). It means a lot to the Ukrainian and the Polish people to know they have Americas support and backing in their fight for freedom.

House for Moms provides a home where mothers and children will be able to receive long-term support while working to become independent and self-sufficient. The houses provide a safe and stable home where women with children can feel comfortable and support each other. We want to give them the freedom to start a new life without being embarrassed or feeling out of place as they join the community and workplace in Poland. The Houses for Single Mothers from Ukraine will not be just temporary shelters, providing: ● food & clothing, ● hygiene products, ● medical consultations & psychological support, ● Polish & English language classes ● access to general education for children & young adults ● assistance in finding a job ● transportation to school, work, or extracurricular activities, ● support from the coordinator of the Houses ● free time activities for children and more.

Please help support; click the DONATE button on this page and select the “Frank Sgrizzi Ukraine Fund.”  Your donation will directly support the House of Moms.

Refugees

The term refugee is used so often on the news, at the shelters, reception centers, and by the Ukrainians themselves who are crossing the border and fleeing their homeland. The term is accurate and accepted but I could never get use to it, I hated the label, they were people, mothers, children, grandmas, and grandpas to me. Nealy 5 million Ukrainians have left their country and are spread across Europe, many in Poland. Estimates are that over 10 million additional Ukrainians have left their homes and are spread across the Ukraine.  We met some of them, while the numbers of Ukrainians Frank and I met is only a tiny fraction, I feel it was represented.  We found prideful people, who loved their children, who love their country and who liked to laugh. Frank often said, “this could be your mother, your child, your sister, your wife” and that really hit home. They were like us, only their families and villages have been torn apart. I urge you to read the stories below, I told these people we would tell their stories, they wanted their pictures taken and they wanted their stories told. PLEASE READ ABOUT THESE PROUD PEOPLE IN THE BLOG BELOW AND SHARE THEIR STORIES.

Poland

When the history of this war is written one story to be told will be that of Poland and its people. They have opened their country, their homes, their infrastructure, and their government to the refugees. Volunteers have put aside their lives and dedicated countless hours helping with housing, food, transportation, medical care, psychological care, veterinary care, translation, logistics, etc. Since I have been home I have been asked many times “How was Poland?”, Frank and I had no time to sightsee, go to museum or experience the arts or culture, but what we saw was a greater experience, a country whose people cared and reached out to support their neighbor at a time of great need. 

What I Took Home with Me

People often ask, “What did I take home with me from this experience?”  the short and honest answer is this trip was not about me. But, yes I did take a lot home with me and learned a lot about humanity, helping others and how vulnerable and connected our world is.  The thing that sticks with me the most is that this is not going to end anytime soon and for many this will last a lifetime. People have been separated and uprooted from their families, their homes, and their community. They have left it all behind, others have died. The atrocities of this invasion will not go away soon or ever, emotionally, financially, psychologically, or physically millions have been affected not in one of those ways but all of them.

Frank

I would never have gone to Poland if it weren’t for Frank Sgrizzi.  In a text message, Frank mentioned to me he was going to help the Ukrainian Refugees, I decided to join him. Frank is a great guy and was a great teammate on this trip. We somehow found time and reason to laugh and listen to good music during our travel and work together. Together we worked to be “of-service” for the people who needed our help and to serve them with dignity and care. Frank has a unique way of connecting with people he combines many skills including a good listener, true compassion, humor, smiles, empathy, and a hug when needed. He bonded with volunteers and refugees alike and provided real help to those in needs. He also made fun of me often.

My Family

In addition to Frank the trip does not happen if not for my family. My wife Joan and my boys (John and Finn) were also upset at what they saw in the Ukraine. They were 100% behind me and all joined together to encourage me to go. They did their part in helping the Ukrainian people by making it easier for me to go and without giving me anything to worry about at home while I was away. I was so proud of each of them for their support for Ukraine. I love them so much.

Blogger

Technology and I do not get along. I wanted to blog and share my experience (which quickly become the refugee experience) with the “internet” world. I had no idea how to blog, Doug Ward a friend since my first day at college offered to be my Blogger. I would write and send pictures and he would post to a blog site. This offer to help doesn’t only help me it helps Ukraine and its people by getting the word out. Thank you, Doug.

At Home

Frank and I are committed to continue to raise money and help the Ukrainian people (specifically though the House for Single Mothers from Ukraine. Please help support; click the DONATE button on this page and select the “Frank Sgrizzi Ukraine Fund.”  Your donation will directly support the House of Moms. Frank and I will be reaching out in the near future with updates on the Houses and other ways to support. THANK YOU.

PLEASE READ THE STORIES BELOW OF THESE REFUGEES; THEIR STORY HERE AND ELSEWEHERE IN THE NEWS DESERVES AN AUDIENCE.

Day 12 Sun. 4/24/2022  

The Last Family – Great Family, Sweet and Supportive

From the day Frank and I arrived in Poland we kept wondering and discussing:  What will happen to these Refugees?  How will they go on?  They lost everything home, neighbors, loved ones, family, community, doctors, school etc. etc.  So sad, how will they start over? What will their journey be from here?  It was clear this was not a short-term problem.  This will go on for years and generations, support will be needed for a longtime.  Even if/when they return home, much will have changed, certainly the landscape and structures but also the people, many will not return and many will have been lost.  So sad, so sad….

The last family we helped made us continue to wonder about those things that we have been discussing and worried about since Day 1.

On our last full day in Poland, Frank and I were to go to the Moxy hotel (Ken’s hotel program) and pick up a family of four and bring them to an apartment in a suburb of Warsaw.  We were told the family would be difficult to transport given their age and certain disabilities.  At the hotel I met Julia a volunteer who would assist us on this transfer, Julia was waiting with bags of food and supplies for the move into the apartment.  We met the family in the hotel room.  The family consisted of grandma and grandpa (70-80s), mom (late 50s?) and son (late 20s?).  Grandma had little use of her legs, she could use a walker for short distance but needed substantial help to get in and out of a chair.  Grandpa was blind.  Mom was strong and helpful to us but had some physical limitations. The son was legally blind. I would imagine that working together and with the support of family and community back home they did fine.  But now all that has changed.

As we prepared to take the family to the apartment complex, Frank went back to the refugee reception center to get a wheelchair, how this family was traveling without one is amazing.  We loaded the family and supplies into the van, gently lifting grandma into the van, and headed to the apartment complex about 45 minutes from Warsaw.

This family was so sweet, so loving to each other and so nice to Frank and I.  We were there to help them, and they wanted to be independent or at the very least help us.  We all quickly became close. 

We learned the family traveled by bus from Kharkiv to Lviv.  In Lviv they stayed at a refugee center preparing for a border crossing.  It was in Lviv they learned they did not have all the proper documentation, Mom and son had to go back to Kharkiv leaving grandpa and grandma at the center.  Can you imagine leaving your blind father and crippled mother behind in a crowded center.  How stressful, how fearful, how brave.  You could see how this family supported each other and “worked as one”.

The family once together again Lviv boarded a bus to Warsaw.  It was there they met Julia and her boyfriends, two volunteer angels who would change their journey and lives.  Julia told us how she saw this family and knew how everything they did was hard for them, things we take for granted like going to the bathroom, getting up from a chair, walking into another room, carrying a bag etc. etc. Julia was going to be their guardian angel on this journey and make sure they are ok.  Julia stayed with them all the way to Warsaw, in Warsaw she saw they were checked into a hotel (not a refugee center), and she checked on them daily.  While the family stayed in the hotel for serval weeks Julia worked on finding them an apartment.  Julia was able to get a 4-week lease in an apartment (where we will take them) and she will keep contact and help them plan for the next step (which may include fleeing to Scotland).

The apartment was on the 4^th floor, there was a long ramp that zig-zagged the length of the building and led to an elevator.  The apartment was a one-bedroom flat.

We helped each family member up the ramp and to the apartment, helped grandma settle into a chair and then brought up the supplies and luggage (the family had two bags of luggage). We left the wheelchair.

The family was happy to be in an apartment, and so gracious and appreciative toward Frank and me.  They warmed our hearts.  We all hugged and had a few laughs. Grandma blew kisses and had tears in her eyes.  None of them spoke English.  Frank and I left and waited in the van while Julia stayed for about 1.5 hours to settle the family in.  When she came down, we all drove to Warsaw and got to know each other.

The three of us discussed those items I listed above (i.e., what will happen to these people?). While that question applies in general to all the refugees, it really kicks in and makes you think regarding the families you meet and continue to wonder about.

The one thing I have taken home, is that I cannot stop thinking about the refugees we met, what will happen to them?  What will become of their lives and families?

This crisis for this family and thousands of other families is not going away any time soon, and maybe never will.  We can all do something to help.  Please help.

Day 11 Sat. 4/23/2022  

Border Run #2- Przemysl

Question:

            What do you need to win a war?

Answer:

            Everything

Frank and I are taking the 4.5hour drive to Przemysl a town on the Ukraine border that has a large refugee reception center and shelter.  We will not be going to the refugee center, but a non-distinct warehouse close to the border to drop off cargo needed inside Ukraine.

We picked up the cargo this am (see prior post). We hit the road with a live version of the Rolling Stones “Gimme Shelter”.   Our van was packed with:

Two washing machines

Tourniquets

Diapers

Bullet proof vest

IVs’

Bandages

Baby wipes

Military gloves

Canned hams

Medicines

Bandages

Laundry detergent

Hygiene supplies

And more

Our load was boxes and boxes donated for the cause!

These supplies were specific request of needs inside Ukraine, volunteers are raising good everyday and sending cargo to the border as often as possible. These supplies will benefit the Ukrainian soldiers, the refugees inside Ukraine, the mothers, children, and elderly hunkered down in their cities and villages being bombed.

We dropped the cargo at the warehouse. Frank and I took a half hour so so walking around the pretty border town of Przemysl.  Perhaps it was the exit sign for L’viv, Ukraine or the dozens of large surface to air missiles we saw in a field of the highway, that although the area was peaceful and life seemed “normal” as we observed the residence going about their daily routine, for  Frank and I , it felt a bit eary being this close to the border.

We arrived back at our Warsaw hotel around 10:30pm and went to the restaurant to order dinner and a couple of drinks. We were wiped out, hungry and must have looked it, our waitress asked us how our day was?  We told her we just delivered supplies to the border for Ukraine (without getting into specifics). She told us she was Ukrainian and has been in Poland about 8 months, her family is Eastern Ukraine, she started to cry. So sad, you just cannot get away from this, everywhere you go, everyone you meet has been impacted.

Day 9-11  Thur. -Sat. 4/21-23/2022  

Stanislaw and Agnieszka

Although they would never admit it Stanislaw and Agnieszka are heroes, it is people like them who win wars!

Stanislaw and Agnieszka have sacrificed much and have dedicated all of their energy to the Ukraine’s fight for freedom, the refugees and those still inside the Ukraine fighting and trying to survive. Stanislaw is an ex Ukrainian soldier who fought the Russians in 2014-2015 his family and friends are fighting now. Stanislaw is a student of economics, history and warfare. During his time as a freedom fighter in the Ukrainian army he advised Generals and leaders on strategy.  He is a hard worker who has had his own landscaping design company.  Agnieszka is a veterinarian who should have been a rock star.  She is passionate, driven and can get things done, while she never served in the military, based on the way she gives direction and commands a room, she could have been a General.

When the war started Stanislaw prepared himself to leave Poland and go to Ukraine to join the fight.  As the two of them prepared for Stanislaw to leave their Warsaw apartment, they got word from the front of some supplies needed. Initially it was combat boots and military pants, Agnieszka went to action helping Stanislaw find these supplies, they also sourced some canned hams and loaded up the cargo.  This was there first supply shipment out of Poland direct to the front lines.  Word came back to Stanislaw from his “army buddies”, we need you in Poland to get us supplies.  Agnieszka and Stanislaw now had a mission.

They both stopped working and have not worked since the war started.  They spend all their time sourcing various supply needs, coordinating the efforts of other volunteers, sorting, packing and delivering the supplies.  They work full time early mornings to late at night, some nights they do not sleep at all.  Their supplies benefit the Ukrainian soldiers, the refugees inside and outside of the Ukraine, the mothers, children and elderly “hunkered down” in the cities and villages being bombed.  They do not say no, if there is a need, they and their volunteers hunt down the supply and arrange delivery to where the need is.

They are passionate, they believe in freedom, they believe in democracy, they are fighting to win. In a teary moment with Stanislaw he told me how much American, Poland, and other countries support means to the Ukrainian soldiers, He told me having them on their side means they must win and have victory because they are right.  Stanislaw added, since they have had freedom, they will die to keep it.   I told him how people like him, his country and its people have inspired America and how they have untied our country. 

While aid from countries may be delayed, Ukraine needs it now!!!  It is appreciated and it does give them strength to know the free world and democracy is behind them.

How did Frank and I come to meet Agnieszka and Stanislaw.

4/21

We were asked if we could deliver some cargo to the border, but before doing so we should go to an address in Warsaw the night before to see if the van we rented was big enough for the cargo.

We arrived at the apartment of Agnieszka and Stanislaw, and they came out to look at the van.

We all decided to test removing the seats, so we were ready to do it early tomorrow am to load cargo.  The seats came right out but going back in one of the seats went in at the wrong angle and became logged in the track.  Agnieszka took control delivering orders in English (for Frank and I) and Ukrainian for Stanislaw (he does not speak English). Almost an hour went by, and the seat was stuck, we took a break and then Stanislaw and I analyzed the situation, worked together and fixed the seat.  They then invited us to the apartment to look at the cargo.  As we walked, I looked at Stanislaw and we laughed about he sh!tshow re: the van seat, despite the language barrier I knew this was a good man and someone who could be my friend.

As we entered the apartment Agnieszka told us they called it “The Factory” we entered this two-bedroom apartment and saw boxes and supplies everywhere.  Three women were in the living room packing and labeling boxes.  One of the women was wearing a Ramones T-shirt, we all bonded over Rock-N-Roll and Agnieszka was happy we were “Rock-N-Roll Guys’ and put some tunes on.  The cargo consisted of 2 washing machines (for a refugee center inside Ukraine), medical supplies, military clothing, medicines, baby wipes, canned hams, bullet proof vest, diapers, detergents and many other items to win a war and to help those in need.

Hanging in the living room (the “Factory”) was a handwritten sign that read “Never Ever Give UP”.

We all agreed we would load all the cargo into the Van in the am, and Frank and I left for the hotel.

4/22

The next morning Stanislaw, Frank and I loaded the van. Frank and I headed to the border (see next blog post).  As we got into, the Van, Stanislaw looked at us and said, “Thank you for doing this for my people”, he had tears in his eyes.

4/23

In the morning I will head back to the “Factory” to pick up the van seats.  Frank stayed behind to do some other work and coordinate our day volunteering for ODF.  When I arrived at Stanislaw and Agnieszka, they were disappointed Frank was not with me, they had made us coffee and put out some danishes from the bakery.  I sat and had breakfast with them.  This was really the first time to sit and talk.  This is when I learned much of their story as written above.  I found their passion and dedication inspiring, they cared so much for freedom, they cared so much for the people who were fighting and suffering, the pain and suffering of the Ukraine was in their eyes and in their voice.  The will to win was in their spirit.  They appreciated any help that the “outside world” had to offer, volunteers, supplies, military aid or the spoken word.  They take pride in knowing they are right, and the world supports them.  When I told Frank about my time with Agnieszka and Stanislaw, he was sorry he missed the breakfast, we decided to go back in the evening so we could all say goodbye.

My breakfast and evening meeting with them meant so much to me.  The made me feel that during our short time in Poland we directly benefited the cause and helped show support from America.  While we get to go home, they keep fighting every day.  I am so proud to call Agnieszka and Stanislaw my friends, I wish them and their fighters well and God Bless them.

Say a prayer for the common foot soldier

Spare a thought for his back breaking work

Say a prayer for his wife and his children

Who burn the fires and who still till the earth

–From “Salt of the Earth”-The Rolling Stones–

A previous blog post included a text Stanislaw sent to me which I have read every day since receiving the text. -Scroll down to blog pause #1.

Mothers Day Announcement !!

First Baby Born-House Of Mother’s

As is the case with Viktoria and little Knesia, many thousands of women having been forced to leave their homes in Ukraine, fearing for their lives and those of their children, now find themselves in a new reality.

Since returning from Poland, both Frank and I have committed to continue our work with the wonderful people at Open Dialogue Foundation (ODF) to provide Mothers from Ukraine with a place where they will be able to receive long-term support and become independent in this difficult situation. We want to help them create a safe House for Independent Mothers from Ukraine, where women with children can feel comfortable and cared for, while building a community that understands and supports each other. Unfortunately, despite the great desire and commitment of many volunteers, we are unable to do this without adequate financial support. That is why we are counting on your help.

The Houses for Independent Mothers from Ukraine will not be just a temporary shelter. They are helping each woman to obtain a PESEL number (similar to our SS #) and necessary documents allowing for a long-term stay in Poland. Both mothers and their children will be provided with education, including Polish language classes. They’re committed to finding them employment so that they can afford to support their family and the House, and after achieving financial stability, begin an independent life in Poland. Each House will also have a childcare service that will enable women to focus on their work without worrying about the safety of their youngest children. Medical care, including dental care, will be available.

The objective for ODF is to build a safe, inclusive, and nurturing community. Women who are struggling with the reality of being forced from their homes have largely had to leave their husbands or sons behind in the danger of war and will be a valuable support resource for each other. 

Together, these families will each take care of the common space and the members of other families, i.e. to carry out daily chores such as cleaning, cooking or childcare. Of course, no one will be left alone – each house will have its own coordinator who will make sure that the relevant house rules are followed.

They have already opened the first House – it is located in Jakubowizna in the administrative district of Gmina Chynów, within Grójec County. About 30 people will be able to live in the house with an area of 450 metres.

The first cosmetic renovation carried out by the team of selfless volunteers has been completed. As a result, we have already been able to welcome the first 11 people and help them adapt to a new life. We would like to invite another 15 people to the House, but understandably more support is needed.  A second house is now operating in a flat in Warsaw.

Each multiple-family house can support about 21 people at an average monthly cost of $5,600 (or $270 per person). This includes rent as well as the following:

• assistance in finding a job, meeting with a vocational counsellor, support in obtaining necessary documents or qualifications,
• all food and clothing, including underwear, hygiene items for children and women (e.g. diapers, bath products)
• access to medical consultations
• specialist psychological support
• regular Polish and English language classes for both adults and children,
•  access to general education for children and young people
• transport to school, work or to the above-mentioned extracurricular activities,
• constant support from the coordinator of the House and other volunteers of the Foundation,
• organizing free time for children in a creative way in the form of free workshops and meetings with animators or teachers.

After rental costs, basic upkeep costs of the House are critical, with food being especially difficult to source, as are beds and mattresses. Many of the people have left their homes in a hurry, taking only one suitcase with only the most essential things, without fresh clothes, underwear or baby items. We want to give them the freedom to start a new life without being embarrassed or feeling out of place in their new workplace. There will also be space for families with animals, so that they do not have to leave their four-legged friends behind.

Frank and I have been blown away by all of your support, kind words and encouragement throughout this journey. For those who have already contributed, we can never thank you enough. Your generosity has already made a meaningful difference in the lives of these families. For those wishing to donate you can still do so by clicking on the link on this page. 

With much love & gratitude,

Frank & Tom

Blog Pause #2

Sometimes You Just Have To Laugh 😊

A brief interruption in the daily Blog:

Almost every volunteer we met with said to us, “sometimes you just have to laugh” it is their way to break up the long days or dealing with sorrow, heartbreak, confusion and an ever changing day and circumstances.  While Frank and I appreciated the advice, it was not needed, we often went to humor to ease the moment, certainly in our interactions with each other but also with the other volunteers and more importantly we hoped to put a smile on the face (even for just a moment) on each refugee we assisted.

Frank has a great sense of humor, although most of it was at my expense as he often made fun of my driving skills, GPS interpretation, tech skills and antiquated iPhone.  I was sure to get back at him any chance I could, for example when he was surrounded by police at a boarder reception center and I told him “Don’t worry, I will take care of Allison and the kids.”

The trip certainly was not a trip you go on for laughs, much more serious matters are presented to you and need to be dealt with, but sometimes you just have to laugh.

Day 9 – Thurs. 4/21/2022  

Aliona and Family off to Denmark!

Foosball

“Pick a Country any Country”

Talking to volunteers and refugees we started to learn more about where these refugees were going and why. The more we learned the sadder the situation got, as we continued to ask ourselves, what will happen to them? Many of the refugees did not have friends or families outside of Ukraine. The refugees fled to Poland, Poland was open, welcoming, and very accommodating to the refugees. As more and more refugees flooded Poland, and Poland continued to welcome and accommodate, the more crowded the country became.  The refugees realized this, they want jobs, they want a home, and they want to be self-sufficient. Many make the decision to continue their journey to other countries. Those without families or friends in other countries play a bit of “country roulette” as they considered Denmark, the Czech Republic, Germany, Switzerland and on and on. Not only are they choosing a country “out of a hat” but they are picking another refugee center, in another foreign land where the language and culture differ from their own. Very sad.

Aliona and Family

Look back in the Blog and you will remember Aliona and family from day #3 (4/15), nearly a week ago when we were to help them finalize some paperwork and board an evening bus to Denmark. The paperwork was not complete, and they would not be on the bus that day or for some time. Frank and I did not want to put them back into the shelter that they believed was behind them, we put them in a hotel. During their time in Poland, they considered moving on to Denmark, Germany, Switzerland, US, and other countries.

Six days later they were now ready to board a 6PM bus to Denmark.

We checked them out of the hotel and were killing sometime in the lobby. Frank was talking to Aliona and the older boys, sharing stories and pictures of his family. I was talking to the youngest boy (10). We were all using google translate. I asked the boy to remind me of his name and I was having problems repeating it the way he said it “ AshKatin.” “AskenTan” “Ashton” etc. He looked at me and said, “you can call me Mark, or any name you want to make up.”   That broke my heart, he was willing to give up part of his identity, obviously someone told him to make it easy for others to communicate to him. I said no I will call you your name and we practiced some more. I finally got it “Arseniy” pronounced “Ash-ka-Ten.”

Q: With an hour or so to kill, what do you do with a ten yr. old refugee who lost his home and his country while his father is bravely fighting a war?

A: You play foosball.

Ashtin had so much fun playing foosball, he had never played before. The joy that he showed when he scored a goal, how excited he got when the ball was in play and Ashtin saying, “no no no!” every time I scored. He beat me two games 10-9 and 10-8.

A week late, the family boards a bus to Denmark to another refugee reception center.

It is incredible what these mothers and children must endure and how strong they are.

Day 8 – Wed. 4/20/2022  

We are “Sold” on a Cause and I Cry Again

“You’re my Favorite Person I met in Poland”

Traveling with Kids

Many of us have traveled with kids or witness families traveling together. Picture a family traveling through a busy airport as they go on a Disney vacation.  The luggage, the stress, the parents telling the kids stay close, don’t touch that etc.  The kids wandering, cranky or whining.  Frank and I observe none of that.  These kids traveling with their mothers/grandmothers were by their side, helpful attentive and there was no crying, whining etc.  We were amazed, as we commented on it early in the trip and we paid attention to it throughout our time in Poland. These families traveled together, supported each other and even smiled and laughed in the midst of such difficult travel situations, language barrier, and leaving so much behind them.

House of Moms

In the morning Frank and I meet Agata at her office to do some due diligence on theHouse for Independent Mothers from Ukraine or “A House for Mothers”. Agata works for ODF, and she is very impressive, the House for Mothers was her vision and with the support of ODF she has been able to execute it, see it come to life and the many ways its benefit refugee mothers.  We go over the financials, leases, projections and see photos of the properties, we also hear the stories of the mothers, including one that is pregnant.  The image that drove me to Poland to help was seeing Mothers alone with their children, carrying little belongs entering Poland with nowhere to live and uncertain of their future.  Agata told us that she too saw those images and one stuck out, she saw a mother and a child in a war zone in Ukraine on TV, approximately 3-4 days later she saw the same women and child in a Warsaw train station (where Agata was volunteering).  The mother, like almost all of these refugees, had nowhere to go, little money and did not speak the language of the country they just entered. The House of Mothers will not be just a temporary shelter, it a solution to help these moms and their children to become self-sufficient and part of a community.  These moms can build a home together and keep the pride and dignity that we witnessed of the Ukrainian people. 

Frank and I were” Sold” we will visit a house before we leave.  More to come on that visit and about this fantastic program.

COVID Test

Frank and I leave the meeting with Agata and go straight to East Station to pick up three passengers who need to get a COVID test.  The testing center for the refugees is at the airport (would have liked it to be at the refugee reception center).   It’s a mother, her son (17) and his girlfriend, the family has a flight in 2 days to Canada and a negative test is required.  Heavy traffic that day through Warsaw, on the way to airport we need to make a bathroom break for one of the passengers, we stop at our hotel.  As we pull into the airport and circle the area, we are looking for a COVID testing pod, I get a call from another volunteer who says hurry it closes in 4 minutes, and they won’t accept you if your late (this is news to us).  We see the Pod Frank pulls over and I get family out of the van, and we run to the testing pod.  The time is 1:01PM the people working (testers) in the Pod say we are too late.  The family looks rejected.  I talk to the testers, and they wave me off, I ask the volunteer (another great guy named Bartek) what can we do, he says “bring them back tomorrow” Frank and I feel terrible this poor family has to go to airport again tomorrow and the next day to travel, plus the uncertainty of not knowing what your test results will be.  I asked Bartek is there any place in the city we can take them he says only if you want to pay, Frank and I of course agree to pay.  Turns out the Pod we are standing at is a pay testing site now after 1:00pm, that was easy.  Family got tested, all negative, they will be going to stay with family in Canada!

My Friend Vitalina, We Meet Again

“You’re my Favorite Person I met in Poland”

On day #5 (4/17/22) I introduced you to Vitalina (the girl who made fun of “New Yawk”).  We have learned from many volunteers that in general, you just don’t see the refugees again.  You do your part, and their journey continues.  Frank went into the East Station refugee center ahead of me as I took care of the van, when I walked in a minute later, he pointed to Vitalina and her baby brother “Tom look who it is!”.  Vitalina (10) was holding her baby brother (Nikita about 11mos) who was sucking on a binky.  She was happy to see Frank and I and we were so happy to see her.  You could immediately tell she was “older than her years”, she was caring for her baby brother, she was organized with binky, wipes, toys and a stroller to rock him in.  She was so patience and attentive to her brother, she was also making him laugh.  Her Mom had been gone for over an hour, getting a COVID test, the family was heading to Paris in two days, although they have no real connection there (a refugee family that went ahead of them). Vitalina was excited about going to Paris.  Frank and I joked with her, I said “you don’t like Pez!” reminding her of our first meeting she laughed and said “Blahhh Pez!”.  Frank was playing with the baby and had little Nikita all smiles and flapping his arms the way babies do.  The four of us were having a lot of laughs. Her mother returned and was happy about a negative COVID test, and could finalize travel plans to Paris, she seemed pleased that Frank and I stayed with her children while she was at the airport for the test.  The Mother (Maria) was so strong to take this journey alone with her children. We all hugged and said goodbye.

I spoke into my Google Translator and said “You’re my Favorite Person I met in Poland” to translate into Ukrainian, I showed it to Vitalina, and I meant it.  Vitalina flashed a big smile and gave me a hug.

As we walked out, I looked at this mother with these beautiful happy children, two bags, a stroller and a husband fighting in a war.  They are about to go to Paris, where they have almost no support or infrastructure.  What will happen to them?  What will become of this beautiful, smart, friendly girl.  What will become of the happy baby that I held high in the air on Easter.

Frank and I got in the Van, I broke down and cried.

A Mom, Two Kids and a Balloon— the “Lucky Ones”

In the evening Frank and I were to take a mom and two small children (boy 9, girl 4) to the bus station (West Station) for a bus to Lithuania.  During the day we were contacted by Mike, from Boston, who had just arrived and wanted to volunteer his help and rental car.  We took Mike with us; he would later go on and be part of the team supporting ODF.  The family was from Kyiv, Mom (Hannah) told us she had a girlfriend in Lithuania and was going to move into her apartment and hoped to find a job.  Someone had given the little girl a kitten balloon and she clung to it.  I remember thinking the poor mom not only does she have to travel with luggage and two kids, but she also has to make sure that balloon doesn’t pop.  We dropped them at a hectic bus stop, the kids were happy to get some Pez and Mike and I made sure they were settled, that their bus tickets were valid and that they knew the time and platform to board the bus.  As we got back to the van Frank, Mike and I were talking we said, “Hannah’s one of the lucky ones, she has a place to go, a friend and may get a job”.  Can you imagine how upside down the world is when you say a mom traveling alone with two smalls kids to a country she never been, while her home has been lost and her husband fights in a war are the “lucky ones”.

Day 7 – Tues. 4/19/2022  

Our First Border Trip

Hrubieszow

Hrubieszow is a town in southeast Poland and borders Ukraine, there is a border control station in the town. During its history, the town has been under control of Poland, Mongol Empire, Germany, and Russia changing hands numerous times.  During WWII nearly all of the towns 7,000 Jewish residents were murdered in the Holocaust. It’s a town that understand invasion, occupation, and the horrors of war.  We will drive through Polish countryside to Hrubieszow.

Frank and I are to drive approx. four hours to pick up six refugees who need transport to Warsaw. Once at the border refugee reception center, I am happy to see a playground, with obstacle course and rope swings, the center is using a town community center and the refugees are housed (cot to cot) in a large gymnasium. I like to think the kids can be kids sometime during this ordeal and play on the playground. This center has a larger police presence and more security than we have seen at the Warsaw centers and I suspect it is due to its location at the border.

A little stress and a good laugh follows. We announce that we are from Warsaw to transport a group and give our contacts name. The police ask to see Frank’s passport, have him fill out a document and begin to question him, he has about five officers around him, it is a bit intimidating. I ask if they want to see my passport and they look at me and shake their heads “No”. I look at Frank and say, “Don’t worry, I will take care of Allison and the kids”. 

Once the paperwork is completed, we pick up our passengers and their luggage and load the van. We have two families 1) two sisters (20s?) one with a small child (5yo) and 2) a grandmother, mother and boy (10yo Damian) they also have a cat (Jennifer). It seems clear the two groups do not know each other. At least one of the families is from Kharkiv, a town hit hard by the Russian bombardment.

Selfishly, I was thinking we would have some good bonding over the 4-hour drive and get to know more about these families, their towns, and their journey. In our short time with many of the other families we transported we have bonded quickly and shared family pictures, laughs, sorrow, emotions and learned about one another.  Frank and I have agreed in all the jobs we have done (short trips and now a long border run) that we would not pry, only a friendly greeting, providing comfort, warmth, and respect to all we meet. Names and basic about the family are usually exchanged and naturally as you get close and feel comfortable deeper discussion may take their course.

These two families just wanted to sit quietly the entire ride, and who could blame them. Who knows what’s losses were behind them, who knows how scared they were leaving one refugee center and boarding a bus with two Americans to another center? Who knows what was on their minds as they watched a foreign country go by them out the windows of the van? They rested throughout the ride, Damian accepted a lollipop and showed us his cat. At one point we stopped at a rest stop and got them snacks, drinks, and a break from the van.

After an 8hr roundtrip drive, Frank and I walked the families and their luggage into the Warsaw East station for further processing as they would need to enter one of the Warsaw refugees’ centers. We said our goodbyes, and I continue to wonder about them…

4/24/22 Blog Pause #1

Stanislaw and Agnieszka – Ukraine and America!!!

A brief interruption in the daily Blog:

At some point I want to give an overview of our trip, the Ukrainian people, Poland and its people, the War, and how you can help. With that in mind I would occasionally interrupt the daily blog, but I intend to post for each day because each day’s interaction with the refugees we helped were special and their story deserves to be told and deserves an audience.

Today’s blog pause focuses on Stanislaw and Agnieszka. While I will eventually go back to the “craziness” that was our first meeting (including bonding over Rock-n-Roll) for now I want to share with you a little about them and a text exchange between Stanislaw and I from this morning that I think every American should read and understand how any help or support that we can provide makes the Ukraine and democracy stronger.

Stanislaw is an ex Ukrainian soldier who fought the Russians in 2014-2015, his brother and friends are fighting now. He and Agnieszka live in Poland and while Stanislaw was going to join the fight his contacts in the Army said he is needed to get supplies into Ukraine. Frank and I made a supply delivery to the border (don’t worry very safe there) for Stanislaw and Agnieszka.

Below is text exchange the day after I had breakfast and a long conversation with Stanislaw and Agnieszka, they are true Heroes in the fight for Ukraine and I will tell more about them in a subsequent Blog:

Tom Text to Stanislaw and Agnieszka:

Stanislaw and Agnieszka,

I am so happy to have met the two of you during my brief time in Poland. Borrowing from a Rolling Stones song you are both “Salt of the Earth”.   

Breakfast with the two of you, getting to know you and hearing about your life, meant so much to me.  Your hard work and dedication to Ukraine and its lovely innocent people is an inspiration and is making a difference in this war. 

The two of you (and your team) are “Bad Ass”, funny, and salt of the earth. It’s people like you that make a difference in the lives of so many and who win wars!  God Bless you both, I am amazed at what you do. Your hard work, love for your country, your people and freedom were an inspiration to me. 

Stanislaw, you told me America is seen as “democracy’s rock” and its support inspired Ukrainian soldiers. I told you it’s the Ukrainian people (soldiers, mothers and those like you and Agnieszka) that have inspired, united, and given strength to the USA to remember that freedom and democracy is precious and of the sacrifices many have to make to have it. I will make sure Americans know your story and sacrifices.  

Love you both 

God Bless

Rock n Roll

Tom

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Stanislaw Text back to Tom:

Hi Tom, thank you for your kind words of support, they are mobilizing and give us confidence that we are doing everything right!

No matter how strong we are, the support increases our strength! This support is like a breath of fresh air when difficulties pile up and you can’t breathe. And when you hear such words from people who have come from the other side of the world to support, to help, because they are not indifferent to what is happening on here, than these words sound very special. These are the first words I’ve read this morning. They sound in my head all the time. Thank you for those words, my friend 🙂 My people have been fighting for freedom, in one way or another, since 1240, since the Mongol’s invasion. And in the end having received the dream of freedom for 30 years, so no way we will give it up. And now, when it is the first time in our history, that we are not alone in our fight for freedom, when we have got the support, the support from the United States, Poland, and the entire democratic world, we have no right to give up or not to finish this war with victory, also as it is what our ancestors died for or went to Siberia for that. Every Ukrainian realizes this, realizes the fact that for the first time we are not alone in our struggle, in our desire for freedom. That is why your support is so important. Thank you again.. You and Frank. Give it to him too please : my big friendly hug and gratitude.

Day 5 – Sun. 4/17/2022  

Easter Sunday

Frank and I are missing being home on Easter, but we are happy we are here. The Volunteers who have worked tirelessly and virtually without break since the start of the war want to spend time with their families, if us being here can take some of the workload and help a few we are happy to do it.

Luggage

Since the first day I have been fascinated, as I see the refugees arrive at the reception center, with the luggage they carry. A mother and son (2 small backpacks), a mom with a baby and small child (a stroller, duffle bag and backpack), a family of six (2 suitcases, a duffle bag and 3 backpacks) and on and on.  If you were asked to flee your home at a moment’s notice and bring only what you could carry, what would you bring? If you do not know the country of your final destination, how would you pack? These innocent people forced to leave their homes travel light; they have to. We did run into one exception…

Mental Health

Frank and I with other volunteers have been discussion the mental health concerns. While there are many hardworking, caring psychologist and counselors providing care there just isn’t enough to fill the need.  The refugees have left war torn villages, cities, and country. They have seen terrible things, shock and PTSD is expected. The everchanging local accommodations, final destination and language barrier adds to the difficulty. For certain many need mental health services and care, and this is a void that needs to be filled.

Easter @ East Station

Frank and I arrive at East Station to lend a hand greeting refugees and directing them to the volunteers who can assist them. I want to get a jump on a late-night airport run we have to make sure I have the plane tickets sorted and a translator lined up for airport. The ticketing is a longer than usual process with the passengers all having similar names and needing two tickets each (connecting flights). While I’m checking tickets, Frank is asked to bring 3 refugees who just arrived to the Global Expo shelter.  One is an elderly woman who has one small bag and seems to be in shock the other is a young couple. As Frank takes them out to the van, he sees another elderly woman traveling alone with no bags and a dog, on this warm day she is wearing layers of clothes and a heavy black overcoat.  Frank greets her and gets her a seat, the reception desk is packed, he tells me she wants to go to Milan (family) and make sure someone helps her. I later introduce her to someone to help with the travel.

Not Long after I get the plane tickets squared away Frank comes back. We greet some more refugees at reception but there doesn’t seem like much for us to do.   We decide to go to hotel eat an early dinner and be ready for the airport run. On the way to the hotel, we are called back for a pickup. Our van and many other volunteers are needed to take those who were processed during the day to the Global Expo shelter.

When we return, we assist an elderly couple, the women going to Milan and a mother with her young son and his big sister.

Maria, Vitalina, and Nikita

The mom’s name is Maria with her daughter Vitalina (10) and baby boy Nikita still sucking on a binky.  I immediately have a laugh with Vitalina as she makes fun of the way I say “New York” by saying “New Yawwwk” and she then does other versions “New Yak, Newww Yuck” etc.  she has seen some American TV. I ask (through translator) if she’s an actress she laughs and tells her mom.  We offer her Pez, and Vitalina yells “No Pez!!” it’s clear she doesn’t like Pez.

For the ride to the Global Expo Frank puts on some Ukrainian music and I hear the elderly man singing at a low volume next to his wife.

As we unload everyone, I get to hold baby Nikita as mom hands him to me, I hold him high in the air as he smiles. Its Easter Sunday and I look at him with the blue sky in the background, I say a short prayer hoping this boy will have a future. This was the first time I have held a baby in a long time and thought about all that parents had to endure in life.

We all say goodbye, it’s time for the airport run.

Sayavush and family

Sayavush and family consist of 4 adults and three children.  Sayavush and his wife, his brother (Sayed), their sister and three boys. We pulled up at Global Expo and saw them waiting with a lot of luggage. Not only was there a lot of luggage but each piece was very very heavy. Once loaded, I contacted the coordinator and asked about the luggage, will the airport be ok with the number of pieces and weight? will there be a fee? The coordinator believed all will be ok but no guarantees until check in. We had a Translator (Tomasz) meet us at the airport. The family was flying to Azerbaijan after boarding a connection in Georgia. Luckily, the airport was quite (Easter) and we went right to check In. After document and ticket review (that went well) it was time to check bags. The issue was the bags were too heavy and needed to be repacked into other bags to distribute the weight. We did not have other luggage; I ran to a luggage store in the terminal, it was closed. What can we do now? The Check-In Agent tagged the bags and told us to go to the oversize baggage counter, Sayavush and I went taking his three extremely heavy bags to the oversize counter while the rest of the family and translator stayed at counter to finish checking in. Nobody was at the oversize counter, I knocked on a security door and a large security guard who did not speak English came out. He kept yelling and pointing at the bags and then pointing at the check in area. I somehow convinced him to take the largest bags, he took Sayavush into the security room with the bag, examined it and then checked it (one bag down). I then tried to get him to take the others, he replied “NO!”  We were caught between two people saying “its not my job” check in could not accept heavy bags and oversized only oversized, these were standard size just very heavy. The family was getting stressed.  We went back and forth several times between check in and oversized security until finally all bags went in. Then Sayed ran over with a final bag that he had left at the check in, and we once again had to convince Mr. Security Guard that this was the end of it.  This all took over 1.5 hrs. in an empty airport. As we took pictures just before they entered the security line, the family was grateful to Tomasz, Frank and me. We all said goodbyes and then Sayavush asked me for a favor. “Sure” I said as he indicated he wanted to run out and smoke a cigarette. As we said goodbye again Sayed said “America America” giving me two thumbs up. This kind family said they would pray for us, and we said we would for them. Their trip through security, although not crowded, took a long time since they all had carry-ons and few if any of them had ever flown before.

Project: “House for Independent Mothers from Ukraine”

Hard to express the gratitude we have for all your support and encouragement. Your donations are making a difference, so we’d like share how they’ll be utilized. Our goal was to find a uniquely, local need that you wouldn’t necessarily come across back home on your own, and we believe we’ve found one. 

In addition to helping fund a 9 person passenger van that has been instrumental in transporting countless families each day, as well as much needed supplies to the boarder, there’s one project that Frank and I immediately jumped on upon hearing about it.  

It’s called House for Independent Mothers from Ukraine or “A House for Mothers”.

As I’ve mentioned prior, a large majority of families pouring into Poland are mothers with children. After being transported from the boarder to Warsaw – where they spend several days in large convention centers, they ultimately chose a more permanent location within Europe or somewhere abroad. 

This program – A House for Mothers – is a recent concept created by the organization Frank and I are partnering with – Open Dialogue – whereby a multi-family complex in Warsaw is secured for up to four families, with rent, utilities and living expenses covered for one year. Equally as important, they help these mom’s find work, provide childcare and schooling for the children. One major takeaway from our time with the Ukrainian people is they are an extremely proud people; working and paying their way is core to who they are. 

A generous, local philanthropist paid the initial expenses for the first several months of the home, but more is obviously needed. In fact, the plan is to establish several of these “Houses for Mothers” in the coming weeks and months. 

Thanks to the generosity of this community, we will commit to cover all expenses for at least the next several months, but more will be needed to continue this important project. 

Many of you have already contributed, and we thank you all from the bottom of our hearts. We simply ask you to re-post this message with the hope of securing the additional funding needed. 

For those who have asked to contribute, we can’t think of anything more important than directly helping these moms and their children. Within this blog page is a donate button that will bring you the local, NY charity – People Loving People – who have generously offered us use of their 501c3, tax deductible status for you to donate. Once on their PayPal page, simply click on the drop-down arrow and click on “Ukrainian Fund”

We will send out more information on this project as it becomes available, but in the interim, your continued support and encouragement is greatly appreciated. 

Much love & gratitude 

Frank & Tom

Day 4 – Sat. 4/16/2022   

Airport!

Frank and I are now fully engaged, we are part of the ODF team and with our large minivan (which we named “Morrison” after Van Morrison) we have primarily been assigned to the transport team, taking refugees from various locations to their next stop on their journey as they flee the dangers of Ukraine. Despite the daily everchanging needs of the refugees including issues with logistic, documentation, health etc., ODF is very organized and in less than a month (during the war) they have developed a way to process and service many of the refugees needs.  We are on a text chain and “tickets” are posted for team members to accept task/services to be completed, tickets are followed up and closed out when completed. Each refugee is assigned a coordinator who works tirelessly on their case to facilitate the needs of the refugees and see the case through to its conclusion, the coordinators are always available to us for details, and we always have Bartek and Lucasz who we can call on.

One thing Frank and I have learned in the brief period amount of time we have been here, is that nothing goes smoothly at the airport.

Alina and Marc

We are to pick up a young couple and their two daughters ages 2 and 4 and a small dog. They traveled across Ukraine and were fortunate enough to spend some time out of the shelter and in a hotel. ODF along with its network’s partners, generous donors (including Ken -see his bog) have checked refugees with special needs (i.e., elderly, small children, ill, etc.) into hotels when available. We arrive at the Moxy Hotel at 5:30am to pick up the family and drive the 30 minutes to the airport, anticipating some issues with the documentation, Lukasz agrees to meet us at the airport. Check in does not go smoothly the kids do not have a passport and the birth certificates are in Ukrainian, the check in agent is having difficulty interpreting and confirming the parent/child paperwork, and the vet’s papers for the dog are in Ukrainian (although ODF had the dog examined in Poland prior to flight and a wellness letter signed by a Polish vet. The agent’s initial refusal to accept several documents were creating stress and more heartbreak for this young couple. Good thing for Lukasz, he walked the agent through the paperwork alongside Marc while I helped the mother watch and entertain the kids. They were off to Spain, where they have some friends (no family).

Alina (another Alina)

A Mom with two kids, boy (12) and Girl (9). The Mom was very proud of her kids.  They all looked exhausted as we drove them to the airport to relocate to France. Frank spent some time connecting with the mom and the kids on the ride. Frank helped the family check in while I waited in the Van and Lukasz was also at the airport. The family was traveling to France where they have some relatives. Like many refugees they have never flown or even been in an airport before. After helping with check-in and making sure they were on the security line and knew which gate to head to, Frank and Lukasz come out to the Van. As we pull away from the terminal Lukasz gets an “urgent” text from the mother, “where is her luggage” she is in a panic. Having never flown before she expected to see her luggage once though security and was not aware it was to it be picked up at her destination.

We decide to head back to East Station (refugee reception center) to see if there is anything we can help with. It’s on this ride Lukasz first introduces a program to us called “The House for Independent Mothers from Ukraine”; this project gets our interest and Frank and I agree to follow up with the ODF learn more. 

One Family- three generations

At Eastern train station Frank and I meet a family of six who are catching a train to a town in Poland and need assistance with their luggage. The East Station Reception Center is about 500 yards from the East Train Station.  The six people represent three generations with ages ranging from 8 yrs. old (boy) to 70s (grandma). On the walk Frank and I notice how loving they are to one another and that they seem to find joy in one another, Frank says to them “you’re a beautiful family” they love that. As we walk, I hear them repeating over and over “beautiful family, beautiful family….”  We arrive at the train platform, and they all get a laugh that Frank and I know nothing about how the trains work, what platform, what train etc. etc. We figure it out and need to wait about 20 minutes before the train arrives. Using google translator we all talk, and it becomes (despite the circumstances) a happy send off. The kids are telling us their ages and I ask Grandma if she would mind telling us how old she is, she replies, “A women always wants to be young” and then says, “I won’t tell you.” We all laugh, and I tell her “My mom wouldn’t have answered that question either.”  I notice that the boy is wearing a winter hat that has a logo that reads “Be Yourself,” I asked if he knew what his hat said, he did not. I translated and pointed at him several times tapping his chest and said, “Be Your Self” “Be Your Self” the rest of the group came over and I translated again, they all started saying “Be Your Self, Be Your Self.”  This group was so positive, so loving and caring to each other and dare I say almost jolly. We all hugged as the train came and Frank and I helped them on the train with their luggage.

Day 3 Cont’d – Fri. 4/15/2022 Good Friday

TVP

After bringing Little Anna and her family to the bus station I was looking forward to the hotel and having a burger and beer with Frank, to recap the day and head to bed for what was sure to be another busy and emotional day. I joined Frank at the table, and he asked me how that “run” went and after I told him about it, he said, “how are you feeling right now?,” I knew something was up.  He then added, “Well, a polish TV news channels has asked us for an interviewed.”  We had to take this opportunity to get the word out on our observations and discuss how people can help. At the TV Studio, we briefly met Don Arleth who would interview us on live TV for a regular segment called “Helping Without Borders,” Don was a great guy and told us of his recent travel to Kyiv and wanted to know a little more about “What brought us to Poland?.”  He did not review any questions with us and said he thought it was always better for his guest to be natural and go live. This blog includes a clip of the segment (10:50), please watch and we thank TVP and Don for the opportunity to talk about our experiences and the impact only a few days have had on us.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=hyOoO50qBe8

Day 3 – Fri. 4/15/2022 Good Friday
Lawyers, a broken ankle, a puppy and so much more…

Aliona

This is “officially” the third assignment Frank and I received; it was my second day. These request for help can come in suddenly with little notice or detail, this is not a reflection of the awesome foundation (Open Dialogue) we are working with but more a function of the dynamic situations that happens throughout the day.   At some point I need to blog more about Open Dialogue Foundation, the great work they do and the care, detailed execution and compassion they show for each refugee that approaches them as their first contact in a new country looking for housing, work or assistance in further travel as they “pick” a new life and country to call home.

We were to go to the Global Expo (refugee shelter) and pick up a mother (Aliona), three boys (16, 16, 10 yrs. -one on crutches) and their luggage, from there we were to bring them to a Warsaw lawyers office for some documentation and then deliver them to a bus stop for a bus to Denmark. In addition, we were assigned two more task for the day and were told we should have this one completed by 2PM.  Unfortunately, it would not be done by 2PM…

Once at the Global Expo we did not see the family outside where refugees wait for transport.  Frank looked outside getting some assistance from a volunteer while I went inside, I was trying to call the coordinator (each assignment is assigned one) and at same time went into the shelter looking for a boy on crutches.  The Polish community, its government, its people, and its volunteers do an incredible job of welcoming and providing aid to the refugees, but despite great effort and best intentions, there is really no way to house 3-4,000 people in a convention center.  The shelter consisted of rows and rows of closely laid cots with refugees and luggage occupying each cot. After a walk through the center and scanning the crowd, I headed back to see if Frank had any luck. I met Frank coming into the entrance, He said to me “What’s it like in there” I tried to explain but I couldn’t, “No words, you have to see for yourself”. Frank went in to look for the family and as he walked back to me, he pointed behind me and said, “Tom look a kid with crutches”.  We introduced ourselves to Aliona and the boys and waited for them to deregister, to our surprised they had a small dog with them they carried in a basket.

We loaded up the van and headed to the lawyer’s office. Apparently, a polish volunteer who spoke Ukrainian had worked a day or so ago with this lawyer to prepare the documents and everything was ready to go just get Aliona signature notarized and take the documents with us.  We found the lawyers office and the six of us (and dog) went into the office. The two lawyers in the office knew nothing of any documents previously prepared and ready for Aliona.  There is no one to blame, the system here generally works, and tens of thousands of refugees are serviced in various ways daily, but situations change rapidly.  I did my best to get the lawyer onboard and they agree to help prepare the documents, but we need a translator to make sure Aliona understands what it is she is signing.  I called ODF and they found me a translator, but then the lawyer said the translator had to be present, we tried to negotiate for a call or zoom but the law is the law.  The Lawyer spoke to the translator for a few minutes and gave her directions to the office.  Arina, the volunteer translator, was awesome she dropped whatever she was doing and arrived at the office in a 1/2 hour.  Frank and the family stayed in a coffee shop while I went up to the lawyer’s office with the translator to start to get everything ready.  A few problems emerged at the lawyers office 1) Arina who speaks multiple languages does not have a “certificate” from the gov’t saying she can interpret legal documents 2) One of the teenage boys is not Aliona son (she did tell us this but with language barrier we misinterpreted it when we all met) 3) papers were not “standard” given the situation with the boy who was not her son  and 4) additional documents from Ukraine were required to show the boy’s parents approval of Aliona’s custody for transport.  These documents were not getting done today.

We headed down to coffee shop to let Aliona know the issues, I felt sick this family thought they were getting on a bus to Denmark, now a new obstacle. While we were at the lawyer’s office Frank was connecting with the family and making conversation.  As Arina updated Aliona I kidded with the boys a bit and then Frank called me over, he showed me a screenshot of the translation of his conversation with Aliona; when Frank asked her about her home she replied, “It burned down after being hit with a shell.”  Her home in Dnipro, Ukraine (150miles from Mariupol) was gone. Frank turned to me and said, “I am not brining this family back to the shelter”, I agreed.  We decided to check them into the Marriot Hotel through Easter weekend (which includes Monday) and see what the plan is to get documents together once office work starts again on Tuesday.

Aliona, was upset of course but I am amazed at how strong she and the boys were, as they accepted yet another disappointment in their suddenly ever changing lives. She is worried about her future and the kids; Will my son’s ankle heal? Where will we live? Is my husband, ok? How do we start a life alone in a shelter in Denmark? What is the future for my children? 

I dropped Frank and the family off at the hotel to check them in, Frank would get them settled and I had to go on another “run” to deliver a family to a bus station.  Frank said they were so grateful to see their hotels room and there were lots of Ooohs and Ahhhs.Future blog post will provide updates on Aliona and the boys.  

Anna, Families and Friends Pop Music, Pez and Lollipops
While Frank was getting Aliona and the boys settled, I took the van on my first “solo-mission”.  I was to drive to an apartment complex on the edge of Warsaw and pick up two families and drive them to a bus stop at one of the refugee shelters.  As I pulled the van up to the group it was clear to me how close this family had become to the Polish women that was hosting them in her home.  As I loaded the luggage into the van, they all were hugging, kissing and crying as they said their goodbyes. I helped the six into the van, giving each passenger a lollipop, the host was crying and blowing kisses as we were pulling away from the curb. Amazing how these Polish people have opened their homes, hearts, time, wallets and emotions to the Ukrainian people. The six passengers consist of two teenage girls who seemed to be best friends from home and their moms.  One mom had two younger children with her. The youngest was Anna a six-year-old girl, who liked to smile and show her chubby cheeks.  It was getting dark, pouring rain and we had about a 40-minute drive.  I put some Ukrainian pop music on the radio, which I downloaded from Spotify, I could not tell if the teenage girls liked it or were goofing on me, either way it lightened the mood.  The family was smiling and we were doing our best to communicate.  This family was from Zaporizhzhia in SE Ukraine not far from Mariupol.  On the drive we passed the bus station that Frank and I dropped Laryssa and Vlod at the night before, I was glad we were not going there.  We arrived at the location but once we entered the parking lot there were gates and barriers stopping the bus from getting close to the bus stop, we had lots of bags and it was raining I did not want this family to get wet before a long bus ride. I called Lukasz, he delivered by looping in another volunteer who knew an alternative entrance into he complex.  As we unloaded the van I gave Anna a unicorn Pez dispenser, her smile and chubby cheeks told me how much she valued that gift.  The boy (8yrs) almost jumped over the back row seat to see what his sister got; I gave him a Sonic the Hedgehog Pez dispenser. We all hugged and said goodbye and God Bless.  They were boarding a bus to Denmark, the same bus Aliona and the boys would miss.

4/15/2022- Just when I thought we were done for the day I met Frank for dinner, the day wasn’t over yet….

Day 2 Cont’d – Thur. 4/14/2022

During our time in the reception tent Frank and I had little contact with the refugees, but seeing them their mostly women, children, and the elderly I thought I hope we can help them.

Chyzov

During our orientation in the East Train Station reception center Frank and I were given two assignments.  The first was to pick up Chyzov from the Global Expo refugee center. The Global Expo refugee center was a large exhibition hall that was housing refugees, in a future blog I will discuss the temporary housing at various Warsaw exhibition centers. We were to pick up Chyzov outside the center and transport him to the airport, we were told he was elderly and inexperience in flying. Frank and I would make sure he was checked in and through security.

Chyzov will be the first refugee that Frank and I meet and directly help.  Chyzov was waiting for us outside the expo center, he spotted the van and waved to us.  He was a 71 yr. old man, carrying a backpack, a medium size duffle bag with a broken zipper he pulled on a rusty old luggage cart. Frank and I jumped out of the van, greeted him, loaded his luggage, and helped him into the backseat. He spoke Ukrainian, the language barrier will be tough to navigate. We all connected on the drive, using google translator, hand gestures, pictures and emotions.  Chyzov was a grandpa, he was traveling on to Armenia to be with his daughter and two grandchildren.  He had a grandson (10) and a granddaughter (12), with pride he showed us their pictures.  I told him Frank had three kids and I had two, I showed him pictures of my sons. I found a way to communicate that my wife had Armenian roots. At the airport, I would take him to check-in and Frank would stay with the van (more about airport experiences in future blogs).  Chyzov hugged Frank and we all took a picture.  Check in went well, the volunteers at ODF provided me with pre-printed tickets and Chyzov had the proper documentation.  They would not allow him to check the rusty luggage cart, he did not want to leave it behind. I told him I would bring him to security, make sure he gets through and hope that they allow him to check the cart post security. At the security que we hugged, he gave me a big bear hug and I could just see what a sweet and kind man this was, he was a grandpa for sure. We each said “God Bless” to the other. As he got through security scanner and started toward the gate he turned and waved with a smile. 

Laryssa and Vlod

My first day and I cried already.

Frank and I were to pick up Laryssa and her son Vlod (14) at yet another Expo center housing refugees (Ptak center outside the city) and bring them to a bus station in Warsaw for a bus to Prague at 7:00am the next day.  Laryssa spoke English very well, they were carrying two small backpacks.  They were going to Prague to join a friend (also a refugee) who fled about a 4 weeks ago. They were from Kharkiv, a city that has suffered terrible loss under constant bombing.  Laryssa’s husband, father and brother all stayed in Kharkiv to fight the Russians.  She told me during the bombings her husband told her “Go-go-go” waving his hand as if you were telling someone to leave your house.  This is when I cried, I thought about being a husband and father and having to tell my wife and kids to flee.  I turned my head, this woman was so strong, she did not need to see me crying.   As we drove through Warsaw Laryssa and Vlod were pointing up at the office buildings and seemed excited. She then told Frank and I that they were excited to see the building lights on, Kharkiv had to turn off its lights at night as a defense to the constant bombings.

We arrived at the bus station, it was hectic with lots of busses, packed with refugees waiting to depart and sleeping where they could find a spot.  Frank and I wanted to find them a place to sleep. We walked to a hostel nearby, but no rooms were available, Laryssa said they would stay the night in the bus station.  We offered to find a nearby hotel room, but she refused, she did not want to miss this bus.  With the help of a very nice (and overwhelmed) volunteer at the hostel, we found a mezzanine area that allowed access only to mothers and children where they could stay for the 11 hour wait.  She was a proud woman, she refused our offer to get them food, water or anything they needed to be more comfortable.  We all hugged and said, “God Bless You”, Frank took a picture of the mom and son and told Vlod “Hug your Mother”, we all laughed.

Day 2 – Thur. 4/14/2022

Arrive in Poland and Get to Work!

My fight landed at 2:00pm and I arrived at the hotel around 3:00pm. Frank was waiting for me, he asked if I was ready to go, I dropped the bags in the room and met him back in the lobby it was time to get to work! Frank had done a lot of work in the two days he was here ahead of me. We went to straight to the Renault van Frank rented (a brand-new minivan that seats 8 including a large storage area), this van will come in very handy in the coming days. Frank took the wheel and we started to head toward the East Train Station so Frank could introduce me to the connections he had made the day before, all were based on Ken Jacobus prior work in Warsaw. On the drive Bartłomiej Filipek “Bartek” called me to officially welcome me to the team. Bartek is a tremendous asset volunteering his time to help lead refugee accommodations, transport, relocation etc. working with Open Dialogue Foundation or ODF (more to come on this incredible foundation below and in future blogs). In the coming days Frank and I will assist Bartek and other volunteers like him as we join the ODF team during our time here. Bartek gave Frank a warm welcome and orientation prior to my arrival and soon I will find he is always available to us via text, ODF group chats and phone anytime we need guidance with a task. Warsaw’s three largest train stations are East, West, and Central; each station has a refugee reception tent and provide numerous services. My first stop in Warsaw was the East Station, Frank and I went straight into the refugee reception desk and the ODF team. Lukasz an ODF team member who Frank met the day before greeted us.

Lukasz 

I was immediately impressed by Lukasz, a Warsaw native. Since one of the roles Frank and I will play is to provide transportation for the refugees we wanted to show Lukasz the Renault minivan. Lukasz was so happy and enthusiastic about the van; I could immediately tell that he cared deeply for the refugees and their journey. Lukasz passion for his work with ODF and the refugees was on full display as he spoke to us. Okay so maybe I should not have been so surprised that someone who has dedicated over a month volunteering to help the Refugees was so caring and compassionate. But so many other things impressed me about Lukasz in the first meeting and then after. The orientation he gave me showed he understood the big picture, not just the day-to-day role, that he is completely plugged into the network of volunteers and that he knows how to get things done in a demanding, stressful, and often dynamic process. He is also thinking ahead, as is ODF, what comes next for these Refugees? Where will their permanent residence be? What kind of support will they need? What type of work can they do? How can they network and learn from each other? How can charities, and communities provide training and opportunities to the refugees?

Lukasz told us the refugees are looking for work, they are looking for a home and to be self-sufficient, they are uncertain when/if they will return to Ukraine.

One thing Lukasz told us that has stuck with me is the first two questions the refugees ask are generally 1) Where can I stay tonight and 2) Is there any work?

Lukasz thinks ahead and he has some ideas, ODF and others are starting to implement the longer plan. We quickly learned this is a long-term crisis, planning has begun but it will need help along the way.

Time to get to work!

At about 5:45PM, less then 4 hours since my plane landed, Frank and I were asked to assist a refugee to the airport and help him check in and get on his flight.

In the next entry you will meet Chyzov.

• Day 1 Cont’d -Wed 4/13/2022
  by tomob12
  April 16, 2022

  JFK Airport

  Was tough to say good by to my family and get into the Uber for the airport. Once at JFK I entered the “air-travel world” so many of us have experienced. Long lines, agitated passengers, a slow chaotic security process, a crowded gate, etc. At check-in I was told my seat on the plane was reassigned and because the plane was sold out an upgrade was unavailable. A full flight, including many kids, most traveling on from Poland as they were traveling throughout Europe for Passover or Easter. People were eating, talking on cellphones, and shuffling luggage on the checking-in and security lines, so many passengers were carrying-on way too much baggage. Cutting the lines and frustration seemed to be the norm. Our flight was delayed 1.75 hours. I went for a beer at the bar by the gate, the bartender informed me sorry it was last call for food and drink.

  Like many of the passengers here at JFK, I was annoyed.

  And then I caught myself, Tom think about where you are going, what is all this complaining about? You and most of these passengers are blessed to be traveling for pleasure. What have the refugees gone through to travel to Poland (and elsewhere)?  What did they have to carry with them? Are they able to find food, water or enjoy a beer? Can they easily text, call or facetime their family?

  Time to change your mindset Tom, time to open your heart.

  And then it started, their at JFK Gate 9 Terminal 7. I met Sebastian and his wife Ada. What a lovely couple, were going back to Poland to celebrate Easter. We talked and got to know each other, they come from a small farm town near Medyka, a city that has welcomed and provided aid to tens of thousands of refugees. Sebsatioan and I exchanged phone numbers, and he offered to help me if I do any “border runs” and even offered his brother’s truck, if needed. I also met Alex; Alex was a big intense guy from Tennessee an Ex-Army Ranger. I thank him for his service, and we spoke about why each of us were headed to Poland. Alex was traveling on to Ukraine to join a foreign legion group and help with the fight for freedom. We exchanged numbers and offered support and gratitude for what we were each about to do and promised to respond to one another if either needed help.

  JFK is not so bad after all.

  Day 2 & 3 4/14 and 4/15-Preview

  I am behind in writing this Blog. After arriving in Poland, I hit the ground running (thanks to Frank for having some of the logistics set up before my arrival).  I have been so busy in fact I have had no time to write.

  For now, I will tell you we have met some extraordinary people doing volunteer work, and some strong and proud families who have suddenly seen their lives transformed, an uncertain future and a new label “refugee.”  The refugee women, children, and elderly we have met have touched Frank and my hearts and have given us strength and inspiration to help them and others on their journey.

  More about the Ukrainian people we have helped in the coming Blogs.  Including our time with this puppy.

  Going to bed 4:30am wake up call.

  

Where do I begin?

On April 4, 2022 (about one week ago), I texted my good friend Frank Sgrizzi just to say hi and catch up. After our normal banter, Frank added “I’m going to Poland on Monday to help with the Ukrainian Refugees.  I told Frank how this invasion and these atrocities broke my heart and that I was proud of him. Frank went on to tell me about a friend of his, Ken Jacobus, who was in Poland for approx. 3 weeks. Frank said Ken did great work providing support to the Ukrainian people and who’s Blog was an inspiration to Frank.  He then added “I can always use a wingman.

For a week I struggled: Could I leave my family? What were the risk and benefits? Would I be able to help? What were the logistics? What would I do in Poland?

Ken’s Blog was a great resource for how to get things done and to show that one person working hard can make a difference. Discussions and texts with Frank helped me to make the decision to follow my heart. Most importantly, was talking to my family my wife Joan and two boys John and Finn. They too have been impacted by the news stories of the Russian invasion of Ukraine, and yes while they were concerned for me, they believed in the cause and fully supported me taking time away from my responsibilities at home, putting more on them, and helping in Poland.

Frank is a board member of a great charity People Loving People, Inc. (“PLP”) and they have set up a Fund “Frank Sgrizzi Ukraine Fund”.  If you can please follow the link to Donate and select the above named fund to help with our efforts in Poland assisting the Ukrainian Refugees.

I will be boarding soon….